Unnerving

I'm on a journey.

It's a bit unnerving to tell you the truth.  I started this leg of my life somewhat unprepared for what was in store.  I had a grand idea.  I wanted to do something completely different with my life.  Shift my focus away from the corporate world.  Sell art.

Not that it was that easy.

I spent the first few months overcome with doubt.  So much doubt that I lost my way a little bit.  Panicked, I interviewed for several open positions that would take me back to my old life.  By the time I resurfaced and set my priorities I was in the midst of the holiday crunch.

I've learned a lot those first six months and I've learned even more this past year.  I suspect that this time in my life will teach me more than I've ever learned in the past.

It's a bit unnerving to tell you the truth.  Just when I think I've got the formula worked out.  When I feel good about the direction my art is taking, my application gets rejected.

Rejection feels like a knife stabbing you in the gut.  It's swift, it's sharp and it gets you right where you are most confident.  At least it does for me.

I trust my gut instincts more than I trust any thought rattling around in my head.

It's a bit unnerving to tell you the truth.  To move forward and wade through the feedback, at least there was feedback, provided to make improvements.  What does that mean?  I've been told the exact opposite by others.

ARGH!

I've come to grips, if you will, with this most recent rejection.  I've begun to process the feedback.  New ideas are in progress at the studio.  The part of me that hates to do the same thing over and over is loving all of the ideas drying, waiting to be bisque fired.

It's still a bit unnerving to tell you the truth.  I guess I need to get used to never being comfortable again. After all, I'm on a journey.